I didn't expect my return to the blogging world would be something so banal as a movie review, but I couldn't help myself. Now I am sure that many of you actually search out information for movies before you go and plunk down $8.00 (!!!) for a movie ticket (and an additional $1 because we thought the movie would be sold out and so we purchased online.) but the Sykes family (at least the parental part of the family) goes to movies based upon what time it is and if it is rated PG-13 or under. So Saturday night, that left us Paul Blart: Mall Cop or Knowing. Now, I had heard enough about Mall Cop to know that it was stupid, so how bad could Nicolas Cage and his new movie be? Of course, I hadn't seen Wicker Man, Ghost Rider, Next, etc. But I had seen Gone in 60 Seconds, The Family Man, Face Off, etc. So I should have known better.
Anyway, this movie simply did not know what it wanted to be. It started out as an eerie horror movie with some little girl obsessed with numbers that she was writing down because her class was supposed to draw what the future would be like and they would be placed in a time capsule. She was interrupted by her teacher so she disappears. The police and the teacher go look for her in the dark school and they never turn on the lights. What is wrong with these people. Haven't they ever gone to the movies. Anyway, they find her, she is locked in the closet and she has written more numbers in her blood in the closet door. Fade to black.
Next we see sad-sack Nicolas Cage with his son. Apparently Mom has died and it is just the two of them. The son wants to believe that Mom is in Heaven. Nic doesn't believe in it. They live in a creepy, run-down, unfinished old Victorian house. Nic drinks too much. At the school the next day, the time capsule is opened and Nic's kid gets the page with numbers. Eerie music. The kid starts to hear voices, but can't tell what they are. Then he sees a shadowy figure standing on the edge of the schoolyard. He looks like Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Is this going to be a Vampire Movie? Anyway, Nic looks at the paper and becomes obssessed with the numbers. They seem to have a pattern. They are dates of disasters and how many people have died on those dates. They are all accurate. He goes to his friend at the planetarium who is the voice of reason, says it is all coincidence. Is this a science fiction movie? His sister comes over, tells him he should reconcile with his father who happens to be a Pastor. He says NO. Maybe this is an odd religious movie. The kid keeps seeing these vampirish looking guys who make him see visions of animals running out of some great conflagration. He screams. Are we going to be beaten over the head with a eco-horror story and promises of global warming? Meanwhile, Nic sees a plane crash with 81 people burning up. That was on his list of numbers. He figures out that the other numbers are latitude and longitude. He meets the daughter of the original strange girl who died when she was an adult. Apparently, she was predicting the end of the world and the death of everyone. Nic figures out that this huge sunspot really is going to fry the entire world and everyone in it will die. The little kids say that the Whispering People (the vampires) have told them that they could go with them. Nic figures out that the safest place is back at the home where the little girl (see scene 1) died. He gets there after the Whispering people kidnap the kids, and the daughter of the first little girl dies. He gets there and there is a spaceship!! Again, a sci-fi movie? Are these vampires really aliens. Anyway, the kids want to go with them and Nic breaks down and cries and says ok go. They descend up into the ship and the vampires turn into Angels!! then lots of spaceships fly up into space. Who knew God had such modes of transportation. If you could hie to Kolob!! In an anticlimactic scene, Nic goes back to his dad's house and make peace with the Pastor, who says if it is his time to go then it is his time, but this is not the end. The earth is totally consumed in flames. The we see the children in a field of grain; they run toward a beautiful white tree. The space ships take off from this planet. The audience laughs. We go home wishing we had gone to see Mall cop.
