A few months ago, Menopause the Musical was playing in Salt Lake. People I know who saw it said it was hysterical. I'm not so sure what is funny about it. I was lying awake (laying awake?? I forget) one of those nights and all I could think about was how awful I felt and what I was going to post on my blog this last week. I'm not sure anyone really reads it so I am just going to write for myself.
As I lay awake, with the overhead fan, the air conditioning cranked up as high as it can go, the window open, a portable swamp cooler full of ice & water, a glass of icewater, a water bottle frozen solid so by morning I can have some cool water, and a squirt bottle just in case all of those other things don't cool me down. I should freeze the squirt bottle so I can hose myself off with ice water!! I take maximum strength estroven and hope that I can sleep a couple of hours before someone turns on the flame thrower that violently rocks me out of my slumber. If you ever wonder why old women look like dried up old prunes, it is because we are dehydrating from the inside out with our own personal blast furnace.
I am not sure I can live throught menopause. I was looking up symptoms and natural treatments (with Fran's death from breast cancer, I have chosen to avoid the Premarin, hormone replacement therapy route) and found the following quote: Given practical information, medical attention and a positive attitude, most women can expect to experience menopause as a time of change, challenge and new-found personal freedom. More and more women are finding the years of menopause and beyond are the best of their lives. I thought to myself, "What man came up with that idea?" Obviously no one who has ever lived through it. Anyway, this is found at the following website: http://www.jos-health-network.150m.com/menopause.html.
Down at the bottom of this page, after it has listed all of the symptoms, it also lists other medical conditions that have the same symptoms. Among them is Multiple Sclerosis. Lucky me, I got the double whammy.
Anyway, to get me through this terrible, hopefully wonderful, challenging, stage of life, Bob bought me a battery operated fan. He suggested I take it to church. He said no one would notice. I hope he's right. I'm going to be on the front row of church with my fan!
2 comments:
When my mom was going through the change, she would even take a fan to the temple. But it was just a heavy piece of cardstock. And my sisters said that when she would use it, it would squeak squeak squeak. So feel free to bring a portable fan there, because my mom wishes she would have thought of that.
p.s. Maybe I'm going through menopause too. But more likely it is just AZ Summer-pause.
Yuck. I tagged you on my blog.
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